Thursday, December 20, 2012

Marilyn Manson Needs Stitches In Ear After Drunken Fall

Marilyn Manson Needs Stitches In Ear After Drunken Fall

Marilyn Manson got into a fight in Basel, Switzerland and needed 24 stitches on the inside of his ear. Manson was in Switzerland with Rob Zombie as part of their co-headlining Twins of Evil Tour.

Manson posted a picture of his bandaged auricle on his Twitter account. It’s gross but not half as bad as the singer looked on the cover of Mechanical Animals.

Details of the incident have not been released. All we know is what Manson Tweeted:

"I was hit by a glass table in a dangerous fight. I was however, the victor but had to have 24 stitches to keep my ear from becoming Van Goth[sic]."

Those 30 words tell the entire story. All we have to do is interpret them.

The phrase “I was hit by a glass table…” means Manson fell into a glass table. No one throws a glass table. No one throws tables in a fight. They throw chairs, maybe an ottoman, but never a table.

“In a dangerous fight…” was Manson’s attempt at humor. He was covering the fact that he was actually fall-down drunk, fell, and hit his ear against a piece of furniture.
“I was however, the victor…” means he didn’t vomit on the way to the hospital.

“Van Goth” is not only a clever reference to “Van Gogh”—the artist who cut off part of his ear and gave it to a prostitute—but will likely be the name of his next album.

What was even more amusing then reading about the “brawl” that almost cost Manson an earlobe was the tangents his incident inspired various Web sites to take.

Most outlets just reported Manson’s ear wound and tapped out, but some used the incident to go off on bizarre non sequiturs.

She Knows Entertainment morphed into a discussion about school shootings. They even included a sagacious quote Manson gave about the Columbine massacre.
Asia One spent most of their lengthy article detailing a project about the West Memphis Three—Manson contributed a song to a soundtrack to a film about the killers.

Mail Online shared a brief rundown of the musician’s romantic relationships. Manson has bedded Dita Von Teese and Evan Rachel Wood and is currently seeing American photographer Lindsay Usich.

After reporting the gammy lug, NME detailed Marilyn Manson’s brush with Charles Manson. The latter sent the former a letter from his prison cell. After citing a bizarre and incoherent passage from the dispatch, NME revealed that Manson is conservative in the bedroom.

A few articles made a more obvious segue into either Manson’s current tour with Rob Zombie or his upcoming trek of North America.

From late January through the end of February, Marilyn Manson tickets will be collected all over the United States and Canada. This will be a solo campaign with Manson headlining.

Manson’s expedition begins Jan. 18 in Milwaukee and concludes Feb. 21 in Los Angeles.

Perhaps we should give those aforementioned Web sites a break. How much column space can you devote to a 30-word Tweet and a photograph of an ear? If this article is any indication then you can devote 532 words.

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